Have an appointment at a hospital tomorrow to finally hear back about what, if anything, was found by the MRI of my liver I did last November. I was told not to worry, and the fact my appointment was pushed back from February to tomorrow suggests they saw nothing concerning, but the fact is that there is something going on or else it wouldn’t have reached the point of me getting an MRI…

One thing that’s become really clear over the last couple of years is that my alcohol tolerance has gone to shit. I’ve been suffering with a really nasty hangover today when I only had four bottles/cans of beer last night, and it just feels unfair because I know for most of my adult life I was able to handle that quantity no problem. And I’m socialising with other adults who can handle that no problem! But unfair or not, it seems I just need to accept that this is something my body cannot handle any more. I don’t know why exactly, but with this liver issue detected the first time I had bloodwork done after this issue developed, it seems a pretty likely cause. Even if the doctors don’t seem too concerned about it, then, this is something that is impacting me, if in a way that doctors probably consider very minor (“just don’t drink that much”).

I have been taking milk thistle since July, which is a herbal remedy supposed to improve liver function, and that has improved my tolerance somewhat. There was a time there where even two beers would leave me feeling seedy and crap the next day, but in recent months I’ve been able to drink three (so long as they’re not very high alcohol content) and feel alright. Honestly, limiting myself to 2–3 beers in a session shouldn’t really be a problem, I just need to be disciplined about it 100% of the time, instead of 80% of the time with the other 20% being me having such a great time that I get carried away and say, “Sure, I’ll have another!” when I really should not 😅

It really is a problem that only crops up when I’m socialising. If I don’t socialise, I don’t even really drink, lol. Maybe Viv and I will have a single beer each on a special occasion but otherwise we pretty much don’t. And I feel a lot healthier that way! But Australian culture is very heavy on social occasions revolving around drinking – and I certainly come from a family of heavy drinkers – and I just find it hard to never ever slip up making good choices in those kinds of environments. It’s hard to stick to two beers if you’re hanging out with someone who’s having five, you know…

At the end of the day, I’m hoping (and expecting) that the liver issue will turn out to be something pretty manageable. And I can sorta see the argument that it’s not “really” a problem that my alcohol tolerance sucks now because the health advice is not to drink any more than 4 standard drinks in a session anyway 🙄 But for me I feel like it kind of is a problem, because the second I stop stressing about strictly rationing alcohol over the duration of a social occasion and just relax and enjoy myself, I get hit HARD with this kind of physical punishment. And as I said, it feels unfair when all I wanted to do was have fun. (After all, I’m never tempted to drink excessively at boring social functions with insufferable people – it really is a punishment for fun.) So, I kind of hope that what they tell me tomorrow is that there’s some kind of treatment, rather than, “It’s no big deal, just don’t drink that much.”